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Jan 23, 2026

Woman comes out as abrosexual after 30-year journey

Attraction doesn’t always follow a predictable path and for some people, it shifts and changes over time. This puzzling experience is more common than many realize, and it has a name: abrosexuality.

Thought she was a lesbian

Let’s dive into what abrosexuality means – and how one writer’s journey over three decades helped shine a light on this label that many people don’t understand.

In a heartfelt article published by Metro UK in July 2024, writer Emma Flint shared her touching experience of discovering she was abrosexual – after spending 30 years wondering why her feelings seemed to change like the weather.

Flint, who was 32 when she wrote the article, talks about her years of believing she was a lesbian, then having times when she was attracted to men, then feeling attracted to no one, and then back to feeling attracted to women again.

For many years, she said she felt “unsure of who I was.”

“I felt lost, like I was out in the ocean. I also felt like a fake because I changed how I identified when talking to my friends and family,” explains the freelancer from Staffordshire, England.

“It wasn’t that I couldn’t decide, but my identity changed,” she said. “One day I felt like a lesbian, but then days or weeks later, I’d feel more connected to being bisexual. My sexuality was always changing.”

It wasn’t until she found the word “abrosexual” in an online discussion that everything made sense.

“Finally,” she writes, “I felt recognized.”

What is abrosexuality?

Healthline says that abrosexual – which is a less common LGBTQ+ identity – is a type of sexual fluidity.

“A person who is abrosexual experiences changes in their sexual attraction frequently: they might feel attracted to someone who is ‘gay,’ then later find themselves attracted to people of all genders, and sometimes feel almost no sexual attraction at all.”

Explaining this identity further, the health and wellness source states, “Words like homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality, and pansexuality describe the genders of the people you’re attracted to. But ‘abrosexuality’ is different because it doesn’t focus on gender – it just means that your sexual attraction can change over time.”

Sharing her own experiences with her changing attractions, Flint says, “I care about the person, not their gender, so it doesn’t matter if my sexuality changes while I’m with them.”

“Still, even after I explain this, there are always some people who want me to ‘pick a lane’ so my identity doesn’t upset them. I want everyone to understand that just because you don’t know or get an identity, it doesn’t make it any less real.”

What does abrosexuality look like?

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